Blonde jokes!

As a natural blonde I’ve learned to appreciate blonde jokes and not get in a snit. Here are a few my dear m-i-l sent me. My favorite is the first one.

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one  blonde says to the other, ‘Which do you think is farther away…
Florida
or the moon?’   
The other blonde turns and says ‘Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida ?????’  
   
CAR TROUBLE
 
 A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.   
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.   
She says, ‘What’s the story?’    
He replies, ‘Just crap in the carburetor’     
She asks, ‘How often do I have to do that?’     
 
SPEEDING TICKET    
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, ‘I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me
to show it to you!’  
 
RIVER WALK 
There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. ‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts, ‘How can I
get to the other side?’   
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, ‘You  ARE on the other side.’      
 
AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE 
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.  
‘Impossible! ‘ says the doctor. ‘Show me.’  
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed
her knee and screamed;  likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.  
The doctor said, ‘You’re not really a redhead, are you?  
‘Well, no’ she said, ‘I’m actually a blonde.’  
‘I thought so,’ the doctor said. ‘Your finger is broken.’  
 
KNITTING  
A highway patrolmanpulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!   
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, ‘PULL
OVER!’  
‘NO!’ the blonde yelled back, ‘IT’S A SCARF!’      
 
BLONDE ON THE SUN   
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!’  
The American said, ‘We were the first on the moon!’  
The Blonde said, ‘So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!’  
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.  ‘You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!’
said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, ‘We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!’
 
IN A VACUUM  
 A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
question was, ‘If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?’  
She thought for a time and then asked, ‘Is it on or off?’  
 
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!  
 
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde
responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.   Her friend said, ‘Whoever heard of someone
naming dogs like that?’    
‘HELLLOOOOOOO. …..,’ answered the blond.  ‘They’re watch dogs!’

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Published in: on October 5, 2008 at 7:57 pm  Comments (6)  
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  1. […] knytstalker wrote an interesting post today onBlonde bjokes/b!Here’s a quick excerptFINALLY, THE BLONDE bJOKE/b TO END ALL BLONDE bJOKES/b! A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex b…/b […]

  2. […] knytstalker wrote an interesting post today onbBlonde jokes/b!Here’s a quick excerptShe thought for a time and then asked, ‘Is it on or off?’ FINALLY, THE bBLONDE JOKE/b TO END ALL bBLONDE JOKES/b! A girl was visiting her bblonde/b friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The bblonde/b b…/b […]

  3. Also a natural born blonde, I have this to say: ROFLMAO!

    Your finger is broken, oh I laughed so hard at that one! 🙂

  4. I think everyone is an elaborate spam program, but maybe that is just paranoia. So who knows what color your hair is or if you even have hair.

    Since I started my blog I have “internet friends” who I never see in person. Well I’m suppose to go out with Elle over Christmas, we’ll have to see if she is a real person or a robot.

  5. Damn! You’ve figured it out! I’m actually a 12 year old Chinese boy who secretly longs to live in Texas and drive a big truck while wearing my 10 gallon hat shooting off my 12 gauge. Now I have to warn Elle-bot.

  6. Now I know you are a blonde.


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