Monday funny

The Department of Defense briefed President Bush this morning. They told Bush that 2 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. To everyone’s surprise, all the color drained from his face. Then he collapsed onto his desk, head in his hands, visibly shaken, almost in tears. Finally he composed himself and asked, “Just how many is a brazilian?”

 

Hope you’re having a nice day! 🙂

Published in: on October 13, 2008 at 8:39 pm  Comments (3)  
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ROFLMAO

This is a good lesson in not judging a book by it’s cover.

Published in: on October 12, 2008 at 7:19 pm  Comments (6)  

If J.R. ever moves to Texas I’m buying him this shirt.

Davy Crockett's famous quote.

Davy Crockett

And for everyone else who lives outside Texas, this is for you. (All in good fun of course)

🙂

Published in: on October 10, 2008 at 7:23 pm  Comments (9)  
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If you ever want to buy me something…

Buy me this:

From here http://www.outhousedesigns.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=3_22&products_id=201&zenid=43cae7eb94b74c4b0f581b2ba1f2e9d7

 

Or this:

From here http://www.outhousedesigns.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=3_22&products_id=198

 

🙂

Published in: on October 10, 2008 at 1:56 pm  Comments (6)  
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There aren’t enough words

 

Here in this garden of stone we’re all reminded that freedom really isn’t free.  Before America was even a country there were those brave and courageous enough to stand up and say no to oppression. Everyday men and women put their lives on the line so we can spout off at the mouth. Military suicides are up at an alarming rate. The burden these men carry is enormous and war is hell. Be sure to thank those who serve us and our great country.

Published in: on October 9, 2008 at 1:44 pm  Comments (5)  
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Blonde jokes!

As a natural blonde I’ve learned to appreciate blonde jokes and not get in a snit. Here are a few my dear m-i-l sent me. My favorite is the first one.

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one  blonde says to the other, ‘Which do you think is farther away…
Florida
or the moon?’   
The other blonde turns and says ‘Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida ?????’  
   
CAR TROUBLE
 
 A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.   
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.   
She says, ‘What’s the story?’    
He replies, ‘Just crap in the carburetor’     
She asks, ‘How often do I have to do that?’     
 
SPEEDING TICKET    
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, ‘I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me
to show it to you!’  
 
RIVER WALK 
There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. ‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts, ‘How can I
get to the other side?’   
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, ‘You  ARE on the other side.’      
 
AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE 
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.  
‘Impossible! ‘ says the doctor. ‘Show me.’  
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed
her knee and screamed;  likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.  
The doctor said, ‘You’re not really a redhead, are you?  
‘Well, no’ she said, ‘I’m actually a blonde.’  
‘I thought so,’ the doctor said. ‘Your finger is broken.’  
 
KNITTING  
A highway patrolmanpulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!   
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, ‘PULL
OVER!’  
‘NO!’ the blonde yelled back, ‘IT’S A SCARF!’      
 
BLONDE ON THE SUN   
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!’  
The American said, ‘We were the first on the moon!’  
The Blonde said, ‘So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!’  
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.  ‘You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!’
said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, ‘We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!’
 
IN A VACUUM  
 A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
question was, ‘If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?’  
She thought for a time and then asked, ‘Is it on or off?’  
 
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!  
 
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde
responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.   Her friend said, ‘Whoever heard of someone
naming dogs like that?’    
‘HELLLOOOOOOO. …..,’ answered the blond.  ‘They’re watch dogs!’

Published in: on October 5, 2008 at 7:57 pm  Comments (6)  
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Dear Mr. Dirty Old Black Man

As I was leaving the inside of Wendy’s you felt the need to tell me how nice my round ass was. I would say I was flattered but you are older than my dad and that’s saying a lot. He’s 80. I will say thank you though for appreciating a round rear and not a flat one. But that’s about it for my happy thoughts about you.  I was a little grossed out because you are way old and I got even more grossed out as you leered at me. Being a fine southern woman all I said was thank you but I assure you I was vomiting on the inside. While I love men, younger and older, I do have my limits. I wasn’t aware of said limits until I had my experience with you. I hope you have a nice longer life, but when I woman is young enough to be your granddaughter you should keep your thoughts to yourself.

Thank you. 🙂

Published in: on October 4, 2008 at 1:04 am  Comments (5)  
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When it rains it poors

This is a whiny, poor pitiful me post so if you want to stop now I don’t blame you. You’ve been warned.

Happy go lucky Raga is gone. I’ve been beaten down by all the garbage of life and small minded people. Now I’m mopey needy Raga. Why? I’m sick. Yippie. To top that off the Allstate saga is still ongoing. Big shocker, no? Now I have to drop $500.00 on my car so that it will move. I’m not sure what the parts are called but basically something is wrong that makes my engine want to go and my brakes want to brake at the same time. With me so far? If not, blame the Benadryl. It’s just as good as being drunk. 😉 Anyway. So they have to replace some parts and then there’s labor and all that good stuff. At least I’ll get it back today. That’s a bonus, right? Also something is turning blue due to the heat this problem is causing. I want to say it’s a roater, (I think I spelled that wrong), that’s turning blue but I honestly have no idea. Being a grown up sucks. At least I’ve got DarcsFalcon and J.R. cracking me up. 🙂

Published in: on October 3, 2008 at 8:18 pm  Comments (7)  
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Happy belated birthday Houston!

I just wanted to give a shout-out to my city. Houston, Texas turned 172 on August 30th. Happy Birthday!! Sorry it’s so late. We’ve been a little busy with Mother Nature. 😉

Anyone who knows me knows of the great love I have for Houston and Texas in general.  I love it! Even when I move away, Houston will always be home and my favorite place on Earth. I wanted to share a few neat facts and tidbits about Houston so you can get an idea of why I think it’s so great. Enjoy!

  • Houston has a Theater District second only to New York City in terms of a concentration of seats in a single geographic area. Located downtown, the 17-block Theater District is home to eight performing arts organizations with more than 12,000 seats.
  • Houston has a unique museum district offering a range of museums, galleries, art and cultural institutions, including the Houston’s major museums.
  • Houston has more than 500 cultural, visual and performing arts organizations, 90 of which are devoted to multicultural and minority arts.
  • More than 90 languages are spoken throughout the Houston area.
  • Houston is home to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. The largest rodeo in the world, it attracts more than 1.8 million visitors each year.
  • Houston has a young population; 37 percent of Houstonians are 24 years old or younger and 34 percent are between the ages of 25 and 44.
  • Houston boasts more than 40 colleges, university and institutions – offering higher education options to suit all interests.
  • Houston is home to the Texas Medical Center, the largest medical center in the world, with a local economic impact of $10 billion. More than 52,000 people work within its facilities, which encompass 21 million square feet. Altogether 4.8 million patients visit them each year.
  • Home to 18 Fortune 500 companies and more than 5,000 energy related firms, Houston is considered by many as the Energy Capital of the world. Companies headquartered in Houston include Halliburton, ConocoPhillips, Marathon Oil Corp and Dynegy.
  • The Port of Houston ranks as the nation’s largest port in international tonnage and second in total tonnage.
  • Houston has the most affordable housing of 10 most populated metropolitan areas; Houston housing costs are 39 percent below the average of 26 U.S. urban populations of more than 1.5 million.
  • Houston has the second lowest cost of living among major American cities.
  • Houston is the fourth most populous city in the nation (trailing only New York, Los Angeles and Chicago), and is the largest in the southern U.S. and Texas.
  • Houston has more than 11,000 restaurants.
  • Houston has professional teams representing every major sport.
  • More than 38 million people each year fly in and out of Houston’s two major airports: Bush Intercontinental and William P. Hobby.
  • This is just a small taste of the great things about Houston. For more interesting facts check out Wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_events_of_Houston

    Published in: on September 29, 2008 at 7:05 pm  Comments (10)  
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    Recovering from Ike

    Well we just got power back after we lost it Friday night. We have a tree on our roof still and that will be there for a while and our fence is gone. We are very, very lucky. we are all alive and so is everyone I know. We all have our homes. Now that I’m finally able to see the devastation Ike caused all I can do it sit in disbelief.

    I’ve seen some amazing things these past few days. Strangers helping each other, people still being polite and showing kindness. I would also like to mention the wonderful people I spoke with from Allstate. Not only are they doing everything they can to get to us but there was a wonderful woman that stayed on the phone with me when I unexpectedly just broke and started bawling. Even though she didn’t need to, she stayed on the phone with me until I was calm enough to face my girls.

    I would also like to send a special thank you to Vanessa  and Dane. Without them I don’t know what we would have done. They were a rock for my family and showed the true and definite meaning of love and friendship. They gave us priceless information and support these last few days. Even in the days before the storm. Thank God for them. I love you both and I would be a shivering ball of broken nerves without you.

    And last but so not least. I would like to thank all the men and women from here and around the country that have done an amazing job getting power back to Texas. We would be lost without you. Also the police and fire departments who put their live on the line to make sure we were safe. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    Lots of love for everyone,

    Raga

    Published in: on September 16, 2008 at 1:00 am  Comments (15)  
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